Day 16 of 365 days of love and positivity. I can’t fool you, I’m writing this on the 17th and will publish it yesterdays date. It’s almost three weeks into the new year and I’m already overwhelmed. It’s not only me though, I hear it from a lot of people I have spoken to lately.
It consumes us.
Did we all go into 2019 with higher expectations of ourselves? Duh! Were all the things I promised myself I was going to do unrealistic? Duh! Am I going to put myself in check? Duh!
Just relax, you’re doing fine.
One thing I’ve noticed about myself is that I’m excellent at psyching myself up for something new. Aren’t you? If I get a new blouse or clothing, I will wear it the next day no matter where I’m going. I love trying new restaurants, and being one of the first people to taste the menu and then tell everyone all about it! I love season premiers of television shows. I love something as simple as a new pen and pad of paper to start my week with. The concept of new fascinates me as we are into the new year.
But then what?
This is something I’m uncovering about myself, just now. It’s like this new yoga routine I got myself into at the end of December. It was new, it was fun, it was relaxing and it was something I did JUST FOR ME. It was new to my daily routine and I loved it. But I haven’t even walked into the yoga studio in 2019. Why is that? I made the time in 2018 for it? I promised myself I was going to do it 2019. I’m paying $250 a month for unlimited sessions. Granted I spent the beginning of January with the flu, but I can’t really make excuses for the present. Is it because it’s no longer new to me anymore?
You know who preys on me? Instagram and Facebook ads. Why do I want everything? In three clicks, I am anxiously awaiting the delivery of a new lip gloss that promises to plump my lips, face cream that promises to reduce my age, incense burner that promises to reduce stress. WHY THE FUCK DID I ORDER AN INCENSE BURNER? I FUCKING HATE THAT SMELL. Doesn’t matter, it never came. So I waste my time looking for tracking and shipping information, firing off emails to customer services – obsessing over my new shiny object that I don’t fucking need!
I’m so easily distracted, SQUIRREL! I have just figured it out that my ADD is sparked when things are no longer new. I suppose there is a way to combat this, to instinctively change a dreaded pattern I set forth into the “new” something, Anything.
Or maybe it’s the reverse, maybe I should challenge myself and not get anything new for a week and see how it affects my mood. Just the thought of it gives me anxiety.
But maybe this obsession with the new is the one thing that is holding me back?
Challenge accepted. xoMS