Every time one of those stop smoking ads came on tv, I would walk out of the room and light up.

Every time the smallest thing happened in my life, I would walk out of the room and light up.

Every time I got in my car, I would light up.

And we’re talking for over 20 years I smoked. The ONLY time I quit was the minute I read the pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant. I would NOT smoke during my pregnancy, I thought it was extremely selfish. But I started back up again when I finished breastfeeding.

Smoking to me was a mental break. For some reason, all my problems and stress could be solved sucking down a Parliament Light. When I would look at my ashtray, I would get disgusted. When my son was old enough to know that mommy wasn’t going outside to just make a “private phone call”, I would get disgusted. When I would get in my car and see the desperate air fresheners, Ozium, Febreeze, gum etc, I would get disgusted with myself.


I thought about how selfish I was being a smoker. Most of all, I’m the only parent my son has. How on earth would I be so selfish and risk my health?

I decided to quit January 27, 2018. Well, I was dating this guy and went to DC for the weekend to meet his family. He expressed that the family wouldn’t take too well to my smoking, and I respected it. He suggested I get a Juul, which I did.

To be honest, it really helped. I know there is a lot of controversy surrounding e-cigs and Juuls etc. But if it wasn’t for the Juul, I would probably still be tossing back a pack a day smelling like an ashtray. I know I still have a long way ahead of to eventually get off the Juul (strictly Mango). But I’m extremely proud of myself for kicking the dirtiest addiction one could have.

I can’t even begin to tell you how much the smell bothers me now. When I walk by people smoking it literally makes me sick to my stomach. It’s hard to for me to say something because I used to be just like them. The worst is at concerts when people light up next to me, because, ugh – well, that was me. I would like up and not give a fuck about anyone else around me. I needed that cigarette. So I get it.

So congrats to me! And congrats to you if you quite a week ago, a month ago, two days ago – whenever! The journey is rough, but you will thank yourself. xoMS